Big Ego Or Self-Esteem?

Leslie Fieger
Self Esteem Blog

I received an email from a reader who wanted to know how it is possible to have a highly developed level of self-esteem without becoming, or seeming to be, egotistical. The very question shows that our cultural brainwashing works to limit one’s belief in one’s self and self worth. Being egotistical is seen to be a negative thing and, by inference, those with extra high levels of self-esteem are taken to be egotistical; therefore bad.

First of all, let’s clarify the difference: Egotists are essentially insecure people who are attempting to cover up their own suspicion that they are not quite as good as other people by pretending that they are more important. People with very high levels of self-esteem do not need to determine their self-worth by comparing themselves, either publicly or in their own minds, with others.

An egotistical person’s sense of self-worth is mostly determined by external conditions, circumstances or events.

They promote themselves so that they can be convinced of their own value by the feedback they receive from peers, fans, voters, employees or even their own children. They often strive to be high achievers because they can then get the acclaim of others, in the hope that this acclaim will somehow prove their worth; though it seldom erases the suspicion that they are unworthy. It is not a bad thing to be egotistical; it is just sad.

Read More: Big Ego Or Self-Esteem?

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